Life on the murder scene

I wish I could blame you for this aching in my heart
hate you for everything you never did wrong
untouchable mistakes, unseen and unspeakable
i could so easily twist the truth and say you ran into the knife
but my hands remain red
no matter how i put this it'll be me on the witness stand with patient eyes awating my confession to failure....
ive examined every angle and questioned every witness, but no one understands, maybe i'll just wash my guilty hands and get this over with...i have no reasons to despise you, or even stare at you with scorn, you've taught me everything in this life that i've torn...
....looking at your body has left me shaking, aching to speak words i swore not to say aloud, but once you look past the blood and severed bone, you see beauty, i feel i must say this to the crowd....
...this was my fault....
i cant deny failure, no not to her...
standing before patient eyes
i'll confess failure
please someone send me away
take me because i hate me...