Fear of bliss

My misery has enjoyed company
And although I have ached
I don't threaten anybody

Sometimes I feel more bigness
Than I've shared with you
Sometimes I wonder why I quell
When I'm not required to

I've tried to be small
I've tried to be stunted
I've tried roadblocks
And all my happy endings prevented

Sometimes I feel it's all
Just too big to be true
I sabotage myself for fear
Of what my bigness could do

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude
Fear of bigness
And ensuing solitude

I could be golden
I could be glowing
I could be freedom
But that could be boring

Sometimes I feel this
Is too scary to be true
I sabotage myself
For fear of losing you

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude
Fear of bigness
And ensuing solitude

This talk of liberation
Makes me want to go lie down
Under the covers
Til' the terror of the unknown is gone

I could be full
I could be thriving
I could be shining
Sounds isolating

Sometimes I feel this
Is too good to be true
I sabotage myself
For fear of what my joy could do

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude
Fear of bigness
And ensuing solitude