Tug of war

Momma praying for me
Grandma praying for me
Satan preying on me
Jesus waiting on me
'Cause I've been straddling the fence it's time to make decisions
I've been thinking about heaven lately, don't think I'll get in
'Cause I've been going back and forth I love the way I'm living
But I hate it at the same time 'cause I know I'm sinning!
And I don't want to be like them hypocritical christians
So I stay away from Jesus completely 'till I'm ready to give him
Everything, but that seems like it'll never happen
My girl coming over later, you know what's about to happen
Then after some smashing I'm sitting there asking
If eternity in hell is worth some moments of this satisfaction
Man I'm so back and forth!

I'm back and forth like a tug of war
I've been fighting for my life, like I'm trying to get my life right
And I really want more, and I don't know
Back and forth like a tug of war
And I've been fighting for control, and fighting for my soul and this is war

I've got two choices
Both require pain
One's the pain of change or the pain of staying the same
One of them leads to joy
Other one leads to shame
One of them leads to freedom the other one keeps me in chains
I wear a cross and give you thanks for my blessings! Ain't that enough?!
Why you want everything?! Can't you leave this part of my life untouched?!
I thought following you meant I only had to say yes once!
Now every day I wake up you give me some cross to take up!
You really want me to break up with my girl? Now that's too much...
I know what's best for me!
You don't understand my complexities!
See I gotta make a living so don't ask where my checks come from!
Now I hear you talking, I ain't gone numb!
I know I'm in the dark and I gotta find my way to the son, 'cause
He calling on my name and I know I can't run...
I'm so back and forth...

I'm back and forth like a tug of war
I've been fighting for my life, like I'm trying to get my life right
And I really want more, and I don't know
Back and forth like a tug of war
And I've been fighting for control, and fighting for my soul and this is war

I drown on broken hearts
A man full of regrets
The thrill has left, the empty promises of sin sets
You wanna put treasure inside my hands, but you cease
'Cause they're clamped, holding on the sins I won't release
I don't know how to start loving you, and stop doing what I'm doing if I gain you tell me what I'm really losing
You have to change me and my sins I'd never choose him
My heart needs to see something greater than what I'm pursuing so
Is it true that you give rest to the weary? Can you accept and repair me?
Do you hear me? It's so clear and now it's painfully apparent
That I can't have my sin and my savior, they're not for sharing
Anything that I lose to follow you is not a loss
My girlfriend my friends my money even my job
But sometimes I believe the lie
That god don't provide for his child when they obey, that's so cray
He calling me to freedom, I think that it's time to walk
I don't see every step but the next is out of the dark
I'm the filthiest of them all, but I'm yours if you wash me!
From that sin, by the blood of that cross!
I'm yours