Swallow your pride

I can sit here thinking about mistakes I've made
Why it's almost 5 am and I can't just close my eyes
And drift away to where everything will be ok
There's no place in my mind where I control my destiny

It's so cold, so warm my body can't decide
I'd be lying if I missed the feeling what its like to be inside
In a few more hours I will shower and I'll think
How could I fuck things up more and my brain is out of sync

One more hour, my heart is feeling sour but I can't express the taste
Of the shit that fills my head singing "I wish that I was dead"
And the time I spend awake is the time that I can't waste

I'm running out of gas
Still going nowhere fast
I need to kick my ass so I can make it past
Another hurdle in the race.
Tell me it's not okay
So I don't fall back to old ways
The shit needs to stop, I know we'll get on top
And get out of this place

Home Movies is on laying naked in my bed
I'm confused and just a little paranoid
Who would have thought without your guidance I would rot
And still I take advantage of the hospitality (insert fake apology)

Undeserving of this comfort, of this food thats in my stomach
It's no wonder I'm so awkward when I'm walking out in public
It's hard to take a stance when you're not wearing any pants
And the only thing I've got is some chords that make kids dance

Two more hours, the pain starts to devour and I can't express the taste
Of the shit that fills my head screaming "I wish that I was dead"
And the time I spend awake is all the time that I can't waste