Felo de se

I left thinking that I would be back
but I never did return
if you would forgive me I'd forgive myself
but forgiveness never has these terms
the sky was as dark as the thoughts I was thinking
it was ignored by the moon
if you would believe me I'd believe myself
but believing never comes this soon

The streets made a sound only my ears could hear
I was alone with the rats and raccoons
and your memory keeping me alive
as the clouds moved away from the moon
then silence it hit me is a way to speak clearly
a way to never say what you don't mean
but silence is useless in cases of torture
it just says God won't intervene

And this night like others is a sign for the way
that the gray air speaks for the dead
the air is as vague as the thoughts I have now
that these memories are just in your head
so I kept walking through the clouds that were lifting
to reveal what I'd thought
there was more fog behind the mist that seemed was the only
thing keeping me from what I sought

I turned around to walk back to the place
I had left thinking I would find
answers to the questions that I shouldn't ask
but the questions can't find a way to leave me behind