Splits (quits)

We could've called in a hangin'
Cause your relatives kept a hangin round the place
We could've called it swingin'
Cause someone was always hittin' someone else in the face
Livin' in our town house that was miles out of town
So we called it the outhouse till the sheriff shut it down
We ran out of anything to drink so I called it splits

Splits splits I called it splits
I know some smart alec will say that splits sounds like quits
But I really cling to this song I can swing to could be a hit
Bill Anderson wrote it then Ben Colder stole it
We called it fifty-fifty splits

It's always been harder to get out of jail than get in
But if you'll go my bail it sure would feel good to be home again
We could've called it endless cause we thought it'd never stop
We could've called you topless cause you always blew your top
They called it drunk and disorderly so I called it splits

Splits splits I called it splits
I called it a rip in my pants from jumpin' that fence
There I was hangin' upside down and swingin' that makes me tense
Then came the cops up now they got me locked up
Wishing I could call it splits
Just cause I was plastered you called me a bleep bleep
Finally I just called it splits
I called it spliths I like that