Wasted away

2 years today, I just pulled the blankets off the mirrors for the first time
Surprised at the new lines on my face that remind how I tried to catch an illusion
Hiding from me, hiding from facing the height of what I hope to be
Kept all my eggs in someone else's basket
Thinking they would care enough to not let someone smash it

What's wrong with me, I got this need to give back to a world that keeps me
And if I do just for myself it's like I'm selfish
'Cause I always had this thing about staying grounded and down
And it's not been worth it to share with the people I pick that I sought to prove they care
And I feel like a pussy sayin' shit out loud
But I'm openin' my eyes and I see myself now

I left myself behind
While chasing after dreams I could never find
I lived for all your lives
A machine for you to unplug at any time
I just realized today that I've wasted away

Maybe it's too late - the end has a date - and I'm cramming for the final test
It hasn't been a total mess, I'm just striving for higher
And humility will build me if I confess
Some people do what they chose some people look for every bump in the road
And some pretend and they play a good role
For the people that depend - they all come and go

Wrote half an album in 2 long days as I reflected and tried to take a hard next step
Of a spiritual kind so maybe I can find some sense as I pick apart a burdened mind
So I spread out on the floor all the pieces that I thought were fully formed
I see how much more I've got to go
I reach for a new drug to medicate my soul

I left myself behind
While chasing after dreams I could never find
I lived for all your lives
A machine for you to unplug at any time
Just realized today

I left myself behind
While chasing after dreams I could never find
I lived for all your lives
To forget about the answers I need to find
I just realized today that I've wasted away