Letter to god

Dear God
I'm writing this letter to you
Cause I don't have a clue
Can you help me
Sitting here
Simply trying to figure out
What my life's all about
Can you tell me

I never wanted to be
The person you see
Won't you tell who me I am
I always wanted to die
But you kept me alive
Please tell me who I am

I lie awake
Conducting this symphony
That you have gifted to me
But I don't have it yet
Don't get mad cause I get weak inside
And I start to fall apart
Cause I feel nothing

I never wanted to be
Some kind of comic relief
Please show me who I am
I've been tortured and scorned
Since the day that I was born
But I don't know who I am

And I thank you, man, for everything
Sorry I'm so frightened about all of it
Oh, I wish I could give you more
But all the lights are shining down on me
And I feel violated by it all

I never wanted to be
The person you see
Thank you

Oh, God, please tell me now
Are you disappointed?
Are you proud?
Haven't I done everything?
Everything

I'm so sorry I'm so weak
And I'll turn into a freak
But I don't know anything
Anything

But I've lost all self esteem
From burying everything
And I feel nothing
Nothing

Oh, God, please tell me now
Oh, God, please tell me now
Cause I feel nothing

Oh dear God I'm writing this letter to you
I am coming unglued
Please help me