The grimmest of fairy tales

I cannot pretend
That I remember how to dream
And no one told me
That when I became a man
The monsters would still be under the bed
And the strangers would still seem so strange
And the darkness would still incite fear
Inside me

And in knowing this
And retrieving this
Give my heart away
Give my heart away
To every single
Kiss like lemonade
It brings me to my knees
Looking down on this place

The closest thing to a christ in this world
Is the fact that I've lived long enough to regret
All the time that I've spent simply wishing away
All the things I will live to regret

There is no light at the end of this tunnel
There is no grasping a waning salvation
There is no never as no love lasts forever
In spite of what you may have heard
In spite of what you may have been taught:

Weened off of mother's breast
Forced into our still-soft mouths
Are constant lies
Are constant lies
Dismember my idealism
Before my eyes
Recognize the truth behind
The blind leading the blind

Trying to feel out my way through this mayhem
This crippled reflection of what was once my life
Bleeding-hand image of what I'm becoming
Can this disaster
Oh, can this disaster be felt?

I cannot pretend