Anemophobia part ii

I took a boat the other day
And I felt like things had changed
The calm of open water
Numbed my nerves away
But the clouds are coming in
And I felt my body shiver
I guess it's just my trigger
To revert to darker days

I still worry about the weather
But not as much as I used to
I think I'm getting better
Or maybe growing up
I know I'm growing old
'Cause the cracks begin to show
When I wonder where did twenty-five years go

I see it now
It's not what I need
'Cause a saving grace
Never came along for me
I see it now
And I'm asking for help
And only I can fix myself
I see it now

I feel so ashamed some times
'Cause I'm a privileged man
With a privileged life
My friends have suffered tragedy
And terminal disease
Yet they still laugh about the bad
Because the good is all they see

I see it now
It's not what I need
'Cause a saving grace
Never came along for me
I see it now
But I'm asking for help
'Cause only I can fix myself
I see it now
I see it now

I'm not quite there
I remember names and faces
But I haven't got away from this place
Maybe it's for the better
Maybe I'm just better off this way