Can-a-bitch

[Little girl]
I, I wanna grow up soon
Uncle Marshall, will you tell us a bedtime story? (Yeah)

[Eminem]
Heeere we gooo
Now once upon a time not long ago
There was a little rapper about to blow
But his album came, and it was not good
I think it went letter double pop a wood?
So the silly little fans they were mislead
By a nerdy internet computer hip hop head
"Me and you clef we're gonna make some cash
Grab the silver paint and let's paint my ass"
Hey mister, would ya get a bear wa nista?
The ass-whippin' I'm about to add minister
To this little ass-kissin' vaginal blista
Stan-a-bis, little Marshall Mathers' sista
Annanis, corner, we have a mister
Not havin' it it's the machinista
Dr. Evil with his bag of tricks for
This little antagonist bag of dick-suckin'
Ex LL Cool J fan from Windsor
I'm 'bout to murder little guinea fag Anista
You bastard, I ain't wanna have to diss ya
Canabis, where the fuck you at I miss ya

CHORUS
Can-a-bitch, oh can-a-bitch
Where for art thou can-a-bitch?
Please tell me what happened wit'
that style that you were rappin' wit'
Can-a-bitch, oh can-a-bitch
are you from Los Angeles
New York or just a janitor from Canada
Oh Can-a-bitch

Now at first I ain't really understand this shit
Picture me for a second and imagine it
Chillin' in a bat man and relaxin'
when all a sudden some bullshit comes across the scanner
It's "Can-a-bitch" or some Stan lives shit
They greet me out at first man this is sick
For me being just a sick disconflict gets my dick harder than arithmetic
And I know how you jealous ones envy
I shoulda knew better from the first few letters you sent me
The first two letters you were tellin' me shit like you respect me
like any other regular MC
The third letter you ask how come I ain't return none of the messages
at Shady Records you left me
The fourth Letter "Slim you really startin' to upset me"
The fifth letter told me you were comin' to get me
The sixth threat there's a bomb threat in our building
This crazy motherfucker's really tryin' to kill me
So I went back and read the first few letters that said
Some shit about a message you left
Oh shit that's not an "e" that's an "a"
This dude wants to leave me a massage he's gay
Right away I'm on the phone with Dr. Dre
We got a bogey "Marshall I'm on the way"

Chorus

So in two seconds flat Dre's at my crib
The funny thing is we both know where this kid lives
And neither one of us have Canadian citizenship
Shit! Oh Dre wait a minute that's it
All we gotta do is use a bit of turbo boost
We can fly over the border "Let's go" whoosh
So we're off to Toronto and we're gainin' speed {*Pfftt Arghh*}
What was that, oh Jermaine Dupri fuck it
Keep goin' no time to waste
Wait backup hit him one more time in case okay
Fuck now he's draggin' under the car
Oh well only 30 more thousand miles
Meanwhile me and Dre are tryin' to conversate
Just tryin' to find a reason for the constant hate
And tryin' to figure out what happened to Jermaine propane
"He couldn't have fell of that hard" ain't no way
"What happened to the way you was rappin' when you was scandalous
the Canabis turned into a television evangelist"
Plus he raps with his regular voice
{*Pft, pft, pft, pft*} "What was that?" Pet Shop Boys
So we pull up to the bridge where he last was spotted
His corpse was still movin' but his ass was rotted
He kind of smelled a little like Courtney Love
I figure if I stick him with a fork he's done
So I stabbed him twice, kept jabbin' Christ
He won't die this guy's like a battered wife
He's like Kim he keeps comin' back for more
But he won't fight back I cracked his jaw
Hold up 'bis quit foldin' up
Punch me in the chest make my shoulders touch
Do somethin', at least one punch line
Come on till the meter reads nine-nine-nine-tey-nine
percent of my fans are blonde
'Bis come on answer me man respond
Tell me 'bout the sun rain moon and stars
Intergalactic or metaphors from Mars
Roll to the floor roll like Reservoir dogs
Bite another line from Redman's song
Suddenly the stub from a dead man's arm from a midget
reaches out from under the car
It's JD, this motherfucker won't die neither
Dre starts sprayin' him with cans of Ether {*Sshhhh*}
We stomped the bitch and then
stomped the bitch again
(Compton) Detroit Bitch talk some shit again
Stomp him (switch feet)
Stomp him (switch again)
Dre alright he's dead dawg we're kickin' him
I think Stan-a-bis jumped off the bridge again (Arghhhhhh... damn!)
He disappeared yo he's gone he did it again

Chorus