The breaks

Dear Mrs Burden
This is very hard to say, but I sincerely hope that you're doing alright
I know my attempts will never ease your pain
But since it happened I truly haven't slept a night
I'm haunted by her innocent face
Each breathe I take reflects my mistake
I never wanted to be the end of someone's fate
Mrs Burden, these scars grow deeper every day
I know tomorrow she would have been eight
If it wasn't for my irresponsible methods of escape
I understand why I'm subject to your hate
But I swear she came out of nowhere
And by the time I hit the breaks it was too late
Crashed, crumbled, the castle in my head
My body froze when I saw that little girl was dead
And on the side of the road I heard the mother crying
At the corner of ignorance and life I ran a stop sign
I wish I could go back in the past and not drink that last glass
The day altered eternity and I can't stop thinking
Of how it probably wouldn't have happened if I wasn't drinking

And now I swallow this holy water
I'm sorry that I murdered your only daughter
I'm not writing this to gain your forgiveness
But only to show my suffering as honor
Oh why did I survive and a child died
I wish it was the other way around
She had so much ahead of her, so much to live for
And that so much is nothing now

Mrs Burden, Mrs Caroline Burden
I don't expect my apology to bandage your burns
But each instant of remorse slowly eats its core of my heart
If I'd have only kept my car parked
Now every time I close my eyes I hear that girl's cries
I'm not comfortably numb like the criminals you despise
Even though I'm physically unable to run from it
This jail sentence is the lightest of my punishments
It was an accident and in hell I'm burning
On my cell wall is a silhouette of one Velicity Burden
Who was introduced to death at a young age of six
In broad daylight a block away from where she lives
I got off work early so I stopped at the bar
Then not using my head I hopped in my car
Intoxicated speeding home to surprise my wife and my child
I was so close, yet so far away

So now I swallow this holy water
I'm sorry that I murdered your only daughter
I'm not writing this to gain your pity
But I hurt too, for God's sake
Caroline, don't forget I was her father

And I always will be
And still am
Sincerely yours with love forever
William D. Burden
I'm sorry, that's all I can say
I'm sorry