Don't know how to be

It's all too clear now
Well I been running away
Almost on the hour of mostly every day
Now I see colors
That I never seen
And now reddest of them all so vibrant out of me
Without you
I don't know how to be
See this zero
The lowest of the low
I let you take me down until lower I could not go
Now I see scars
I willingly made
I facilitated one need
Now here I lay
Tell me what was I
What was I thinking
Tell me what was I
What was I thinking
Tell me what was I
What was I thinking
Tell me what was I
What the hell was I thinking