Gasoline

We were standing in the back of that dingy hall
You had your glass of stout and I had my water
Battleship grey was the paint on the walls
And I felt like a lamb eager for the slaughter

It had been a long week and the nights were getting longer
I tried to cry myself to sleep but only stayed awake
I tried to pull myself together but my despair was stronger
And I wondered if anyone would mourn me at my wake

Somedays you build your bridges
And other days you let them burn
Sometimes you pour the gasoline and stand there waiting

I tried to call her up so I could say I’m sorry
She didn’t answer so I just left a message
I stood there quietly, underneath a sky so starry
Wishing that I had the courage to turn a brand new page

I should never have gone to that cursed party
I meant what I said but I should never have said it
I should have kept my mouth shut but I got so angry
You were just too damn polite to try and make me quit

Somedays you build your bridges
And other days you let them burn
Sometimes you pour the gasoline and stand there waiting
Somedays you get the answer
Sometimes you never learn
Sometimes you strike the match and stand there waiting

And I went home that night to slit my wrists
But you were there and you’d been waiting
I told you I was done and I knew I’d not be missed
I couldn’t bring myself to do it when you started crying

The love I feel for you makes me afraid of dying

Somedays you build your bridges
And other days you let them burn
Sometimes you pour the gasoline and stand there waiting
Somedays you get the answer
Sometimes you never learn
Sometimes you strike the match and stand there waiting
Sometimes you find forgiveness
Sometimes you show no mercy
Sometimes the dead speak louder than the living
Sometimes it’s black and white
Sometimes the lines are grey
For now I’ll take my chances among the living