A bullet in my brain

You asked me what I want for my birthday
I guess it's coming up this Thursday
But I can only think of one thing now
I wish I could show you how

For five years we shared everything
Now I don't care about anything
I've seen my own death
And I didn't do my best

Now all I want is a bullet in my brain
So that I can move on from this old city
All I ask of you is to never be afraid
And to never beg for some old pity

I know it's hard to take me seriously
It's the only thing I think of fearlessly
I can't sugarcoat it
I'm just gonna have to load it

All I want is a bullet in my brain
So that I can move on from this existence
All I ask of you is to never be afraid
Never stop when you know you can go the distance

Dear Sara, do you ever lie awake
Do you hear my voice saying it's now or never
The things you gave to me are in a special place
A place where I won't go until I'm gone forever

Every day now when I think I see your face
You smile at me, saying that it's gonna be never
That's OK now because when we're in a better place
We can talk again, maybe this time it'll be forever