Thank you for the letter

Thank you for the letter, thank you for the note
Thank you for the message, I'm really glad you wrote
Well, the zip code had nine digits and no postage was due
The envelope was sealed with that envelope glue
You wrote very neatly like you always do
The only thing missing was an `I love you'

But thank you for the letter, thank you for the note
That you for the paper and the envelope
Well, you know I like that you're keeping me so up to date
On the life that you're living in another state
But I've got to let you know I don't appreciate
Being told that you've found yourself another mate

I don't have a phone, and the telegraph's outdated
So I'm glad you sent a letter to me considering that it was one I hated

Thank you for the letter, thank you for the note
You should have made it a package, you could have sent some rope
Well, I'd like to mail you my heart overnight by Federal Express
'Cause it's only thirteen dollars if it's four pounds or less
But I don't want to send a package way out west
Just to have it come back with an unknown address

There are faster ways you could have sent your letter
But even if you'd faxed it I don't think that I would like it any better

Thank you for the note
I'm really glad you sent it
I'm really glad you wrote
I'll have to write back promptly
Before I cut my throat