Neo-pseudo existence

A new fake existence
As universe aligned
I've seen a red handed halo stirred within
Untamed and bitter
A soul went awoken
A feline once frail and broken
The more I cling and crawl, distance rises
A predators's thrall
As water streaming upwards
Has me drowned, the myth of sisyphus turns real
Terminal sickness, purge my exitence
I found the track to my other self
Lost, succumb to my fate irreversibly blocked
I failed you in vain I flew you
The prey hunt, the deer shot
Inseminated melancholy, contaminated without empathy
Terminal sickness, purge my existence of this piteous throwness
I choke a neo-pseudo existence
Where despise and desire can't be told apart, where pain boils
In the soil of the soul
And a fading will reigns the heart
My perception without cure
For you a truth too obscure
Isolated, battered and broken, I bity my way through these restraints
Senses numb, behind a grinfrozen
I dispossess of once treasured lost faith
Magic with morals
You're reluctant, yourself to embrace or endure
Meaningless thoughts derail
In moments of atonement amorality prevails
5 Minutes, a wish never granted, angelic nectar implanted
Imagine the marvel of utopian perfectin
Unmasked a fraud
A mockup in sudden insight
Catharsis undone
You chose a neo-pseudo existence
Shaded whit shallow stripped emotions, where your life is nothing but a hollow shell
And your words are void of devotion
The way things once believed end in sorrow grieved
And what once surprised is demystified
Catharsis undone