I'm going back to the farm

[1st verse:]
Down into town with a grip on his arm
Boob, Mister Rube landed in from the farm
He came to see if the farmer was right who said
"This is the life"
Soon like a loon, he was dancing about
One week of fun had him all tired out
They asked him what he thought of the city
And they heard old Reuben shout

[Refrain:]
Dancing around till the break of the day
Never was meant for a Reuben or a Jay
I've seen it all and I'm ready to say
I'm going back to the farm
Cabaret life is an awful disgrace
I've checked my hat till I'm blue in the face
I've handed out a fortune for a
Prince Albert and an old Fedora
I love the cows and chickens
The chickens you love to eat
Not those you have to treat
I'm going back to the farm

[2nd verse:]
Si said goodbye for he couldn't remain
Thought that he ought to be taking a train
Glad that he had just enough for a ticket to
Take him back home
When home again all the neighbors appeared
Ate until late, when the table was cleared
He told them what he thought of the city
As he gently milked his beard

[2nd refrain:]
Dancing around till the break of the day
Never was meant for a Reuben or a Jay
I've seen it all and I'm ready to say
I'm going back to the farm
Cabaret life is an awful disgrace
I've checked my hat till I'm blue in the face
I went to wash my hands with water
I had to give the boy a quarter
What good are Broadway chickens
With beautiful fancy legs
'Less they can lay some eggs
I'm going back to the farm