Love affair with distance

I've lost my voice, I've said all I have to say.
You're thick as porcelain, as clear as cellophane.
I miss the nervous shakes, and miss the way it hurt,
the way it killed to think, that I had you first..
I had you first

So then I force a smile, I take the stage,
Now my knees are weak try to concentrate,
I'm losing air with every single breathe that I take..
I look into your eyes, see the chemicals,
you're the whitest white you've become a ghost.
You're dead to me so why can't I let u go??

The phone is like a knife I drive into my ear.
I had a love affair with distance and with fear.
The bus is like a hearse, driving me from her,
she's as black as white, she the perfect curse.
She's the perfect curse

So then I force a smile, I take the stage,
Now my knees are weak try to concentrate,
I'm losing air with every single breathe that I take..
I look into your eyes, see the chemicals,
you're the whitest white you've become a ghost.
You're dead to me so why can't I let u go??

And if the walls had eyes, we would never lie.
You could come down on me.
And if u saved my life, how could I survive?
You're the one that made me this way.

So then I force a smile, I take the stage,
Now my knees are weak try to concentrate,
I'm losing air with every single breathe that I take..
I look into your eyes, see the chemicals,
you're the whitest white you've become a ghost.
You're dead to me so why can't I let u go??