Apology

I remember everything I've learned about survival.
I've walked with fools and kings, I've even read the Bible.
There I came upon some lines giving me direction:
"gather not your gold on earth, your kingdom is in heaven."
But I chose to live instead inside the shell they gave me
till in spite of everything, good fortune came to find me.

I tried my best to run away but I could not avoid the feeling, soon I was reeling on my feet.
I made a grab at anything, the earth was gone and I was on a vicious circle then.

After I'd gone and let myself surrender, I didn't want to die at all, I thought I'd live forever.
Then she gave me everything a king could never borrow.
But I twisted all her gifts, her wisdom was my sorrow.
So I left her crying and roamed across the river.
The angels offered me their hands but I could not forget her.
So I came to where she was by river, road and reason.
I slept beneath her window in the moonlight summer season.

But I could not go inside, I heard the sound of laughter, the rustle of her hair upon his skin.
I made a grab at anything, the earth was gone and I was on a vicious circle then.
After I'd gone and cried down my sorrow,
I didn't want to live no more or face the bright tomorrow.

Then I remembered everything I've learned about survival.
I haven't walked with fools and kings, I've even read the Bible.
I remember all those lines giving me direction:
"gather not your gold on earth, it will not pass inspection."
And still I think when I'm alone, away from all night's splendor,
if gold could buy one night with her, I wish I had some to send her.