Johnny jump up

Well, I'll tell you a story that happened to me
one day as I went out to Yaw by the sea.
The day it was hot, the sun it was warm,
says I, "A quick pint wouldn't do any harm."
I went in and ordered a bottle of stout.
Says the barman, "I'm sorry the beer's all sold out.
Try whiskey, young Paddy, ten years in the wood."
Says I, "I'll have cider I've heard that it's good."

Chorus:

But I'll never, no never, no never again
if I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten.
Well I fell to the ground and I could not get up
after drinking a quart of the Johnny-Jump-Up.

After law in the third, I came out by the yard
where I walked into Brofie, the big civic guard
"Come 'ere to me boy. Don't you know I'm the law?"
I opened me fist and I shattered his jaw.
Well he fell to the ground with his knees doubled up
'twas not I that what hit him, but the Johnny Jump-Up.

Chorus

The next thing that I met down by Yaw by the Sea
was a cripple on crutches, and he said to me,
"I'm afraid for me life. I'll be hit by a car.
Won't you help me across to the railwayman's bar?"
But after drinkin' a quart of the cider so sweet,
he threw down his crutches and danced on his feet.

Chorus

Well I went down the lee road a friend for to see
they call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Sea.
But when I got there, sure the truth I will tell,
they had the poor bugger locked up in his cell.
So's the guard tested him, "Say these word if you can:
"Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran."
"Tell 'em I'm not crazy, tell 'em I'm not mad.
'Twas only the sip off the bottle I had."

Chorus

A man died in the Union by the name of McNabb.
They washed him and they laid him out on a slab.
And after O'Connor his measurements did take,
his wife took him home for a bloody fine wake.
Well, about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high,
the corpse sits up and says he with a sigh,
"I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up,
'till I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump-Up."