When i take out the garbage at night

When I take out the garbage at night
I'm not with you then exactly
I'm with the universe
And with the lighting and thunder coming in over the mountains
But when I walk back into the house
Looking up at the window from the back step
The dark window of the room that you died in
The big empty room on the second floor
Cold because I won't close the window
Just in case something still needs to leave
I stand in the yard and look up
And the dark rectangle glares your face
All of our moments condensed into a thunderclap

When I take out the garbage at night
And then have to go back in and live on