Sphere of unhappiness - iii. feel

I know no joy
Only sorrow and pain
I have evertying to lose
And nothing to gain

Once I stood so very tall
Now I feel I'm nothing at all

As i search, this quest gets shorter
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger
Forever fading, losing my grasp
I wonder whos having the last laugh

Each night I sleep as if it were my last
I tire of living out lifes' task
I feel I can no longer hold on
So it's you who must stand up and bne strong

These things I ment to tell you
With my own voice
But I was hurting so much
I didn't have a choice

There's nothing left for me now
You must carry on somehow
You may not understand
But it will come to you
Just what I've been going through

Deep in my heart I know I'm good
Sometimes I don't see it even if I could
I have to do this to be free
I can't take any more misery

Overcome these thoughts that surround me
I can feel myself drowning

There's so much I could never live up to
I never ment to be a burden to you
I can see you as the tears swell up
Find your strenght, don't ever give up

These questions I long for
Which were never sought
This isolation
Further spreads the rot

Release these chains that
Kept me all in a bind
Reliquish myself to
Have peace of mind

My life's been punctuated
My price for hesitating
Total self-detonating
There's no other reasoning
To rid this imposter inside
Time to say goodbye

I apologize for putting you
Through all this
Deep in my heart
Who I always will miss
Take care, so long, miss you, forever
Goodbye