Because boobs

Boobs should always be in my face
So bring them over to my place
Guys know what it's all about
Victoria, your Secret's out
All bras do is get in the way
So let yo puppies out to play
Squish them boobs all up on me
Hell yeah.

Happy and bouncy and jiggly wiggly
Rounded mounds just leave me all giggly
A couple of supple and simple delights can
Bring out a smile in every straight man

Now I want you to reveal what you've concealed
Lose the bra, so that I can cop a feel. (MAMMARY GLANDS IN DEMAND!)
Glory to boobs, fleshy mountains up high
They're so wonderful they make me want to cry

I wanna grab 'em
I wanna shake 'em
I wanna NOM NOM
BECAUSE BOOBS
I wanna squeeze 'em
I wanna slap em
I wanna punch 'em
BECAUSE BOOBS.

Boobs go bouncy when you dance
Worthy of a second glance
Shimmy them ladies to and fro
My happiness begins to show/grow
If I had a room full of boobs
That would be my favorite room
If you think your boobs just get in the way
You are wrong. Boobs are great.

Men with boobs I do not like
Put on a shirt and take a hike
Chicks with boobs are really cool
Especially when they're in a pool
ABC's are all okay
As long as they never go away
Consensual sex is alright with me
I really like your boobs.

Now I want you to reveal what you've concealed
Lose the bra, so that I can cop a feel. (MAMMARY GLANDS IN DEMAND!)
Thy boobs be done 'cuz they're funbags of fun
A golden bosom shining brightly like the sun

Now we all know where this song's about to go
Start your engines, cuz it's time to motorboat

Don't be a jerk, don't you dare put them away
If you did, then I wouldn't see your boobs

There's your boobs
There they are!

Boobs.