I never liked anyone and i'm afraid of people

When the contents of a membranous shell
Dry and turn to sand
The shell becomes a withered tomb
And cracks as it demands
The things I want, I hold them dear
But the things I want hold dearer
Making promises to a faithless expression
Looking back from inside a mirror

There's something like a nothingness
That's terribly elusive
The more I want to shut me down
The more I am abusive
And when I watch the sideshows of the bits of me I'm dragging
I don't recognize the photographs
I'm not sure when and if they happened

I forget the me that I must have been
Before the me that I am now
I remember a year that I got through
But I don't remember how

The devil lives in the crossing place
Between two mountains in the desert
For forty days he promised me his kingdom for forever

I forget the me that I must have been
Before the me that I am now
I remember a year that I got through
But I don't remember how
I forget the me that I must have been
Before the me that I am now
I remember a year that I got through
But I don't remember how
Don't remember how

The devil lives in the crossing place
Between two mountains in the desert
For forty days he promised me his kingdom for forever
But I'm not sure I'm fit to run a kingdom of any kind
Every time I know myself
I leave what I know behind