Bizarre novelties

I find it hard to talk
with a black ball in my mouth
Impossible to fart
with carrots up my ass
My neighbors think I'm weird
I do agree
Whatever turns your crank
Are you into bizarre novelties?
I find it hard to walk
with my thumbs screwed into the floor
I travel to strange places
when left alone I explore

My neighbors think I'm sick
I do agree
Do not try this at home
unless your into bizarre novelties