Onjouji risa ~all good idols go to heaven?~

Onjouji risa ~all good idols go to heaven?~Atashira ni totte nandakanda akogare no sonzai tte iu ka
Risasa no kami toka fuku toka yappa itsumo chekku shiteta shi
Gara to gara no butsukekata toka? Sugoi zanshin datta wake jan?
Okashikunai? Tte iinagara kekkyoku minna mane shiteta shi
Risasa wa shaberi mo iketeta shi deru tabi kawaiku nattetta shi
Mukashi wa debu datta koto mo gachi de seikei shichatta koto mo
Meccha binbou datta koto mo ijimerarekko datta koto mo
"Abe shizuko" tte honmyou mo kakusazuni mushiro neta ni shite sa

"Mikaeshite yaru!"

Kyonen risasa no "mikaeshite yaru!" ga ryuukougo taishou ni natta jan?
Demo are risasa yappa maji de itteta to omo'u n'dayone
Risasa aa miete doryokuka de sa dokugaku de eigo shutoku shitari
Ivuga-ru no naka demo chanto utatteta no risasa dake desho?

Onjouji risa amari ni mo hayasugita endo ro-ru
Saisho de saigo no shashinshuu "shibuya hatachi mae" zaikogire
Onjouji risa fan datta noni... Tte daremo ga tokuige ni
Itsumo to kawaranai hazu no machi ga nandaka sukoshi dake otonashii

Time machine number three

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
All good idols go to heaven?

Yamamoto: "hikitsudzuki bangumi no naiyou o henkou shite otsutae shimasu. Kyou,
Yuugata minatoku roppongi tonneru de jouyousha ga outen shi, jitsugyouka
No saitou daisuke san o fukumu jouin sanmei no shibou ga kakunin
Sareta jiken de sono uchi no ichimei ga ivuningu ga-ruzu no menba-
Onjouji risa san dato iu koto ga hanmei shiteimasu.
Taiha shita kuruma no naka kara isho ga hakken sareta to no koto deshita
Ga, saitou san no shoyuubutsu to omowareru kenjuu mo hakken sare,
Shimon kantei ni yoru to onjouji san no shimon ga kakunin sareta to no
Koto desu.
Kuwashiku wa genba no seki kisha ni tsutaete moraimasu, seki san?"
Seki: "hai, kochira genba kara hodo chikai terebi asashi mae kara chuukei
De otsutae shimasu."
Yamamoto: "seki san? Nanika atarashii jouhou wa haitte kimashita ka?"
Seki: "hai, juudan no ato ga hakken saremashita."
Yamamoto: "juudan?"
Seki: "shanai no sankasho ni juudan no ato ga wakatteori, osoraku nanraka
No iiarasoi no motsure kara happou shi jiko ni tsunagatta to
Omowaremasu."
Yamamoto: "juudan wa soto kara dewanaku shanai dato?"
Seki: "soko de desu ne, saki hodo onjouji san o yoku shiru oote kigyou
No k san ni dokusen intabyu- ni seikou shimashite...
E? Sore wa mada? Ato de?"
Yamamoto: "e? Dou saremashita?"
Seki: "kono v itte daijoubu?...ryoukai, sochira o goran kudasai!"

Seki: "kono fuhou o kiite ikaga desu ka?"
K: "maa bikkuri wa shita yo nee."
Seki: "otsukiai no uwasa wa hontou datta to iu koto desu kedomo?"
K: "are? Kimi shiranai?"
Seki: "e? Shiranai to wa?"
K: "ano futari jitsu no oyako dayo."
Seki: "hontou desu ka!?????"
K: "saitou kun no futarime no yomesan no ko dayo, yomesan wa mou
Nakunararetete ne, maa risasa wa hahaoya no katakiuchi dana,
Isho ga atta tte itteta desho?
Are o risa ga saitou kun ni kakaseta to omo'u wake ne."
Seki: "haa...."
K: "saitou kun no pisutoru ubaitotte sa, sore de kakaseta
N'da to omo'u no ne, dakedo soko de motsureatte sunada kun mo
Makikonde jiko ni nacchatta to omo'u n'dayo.
Are? Sunada kun wa ima donna joukyou?"
Seki: "sunada... San? Ano... Donata desu ka?"
K: "aa saitou kun no untenshu no kare yo."
Seki: "a, saki hodo nijuuniji juppun ni shibou ga kakunin sareta moyou desu, hai."
K: "aa sokka~, kare ga ikitereba iroiro kiketa darou kedo ne~.
Tte kore bangumi na nandakke?"
Seki: "taimu mashi-n sangou nyu-su desu."
K: "jaa issho ni shimesasete moratte ii?"
Seki: "eee? Nan desu ka? Sono nori."
Seki & k: "ijou! Taimu mashi-n sangou nyu-su sokuhou o otsutae shimashita!"

Onjouji risa amari ni mo hayasugita endo ro-ru
Saisho de saigo no shashinshuu "shibuya hatachi mae" zaikogire
Onjouji risa fan datta noni... Tte daremo ga tokuige ni
Itsumo to kawaranai hazu no machi ga nandaka sukoshi dake otonashii

"Mikaeshite yaru!"

Notes:
ファッション/Fasshon -> 服/fuku
太ってた/Futotteta -> デブだった/debu datta
本気/Honki -> マジ/maji
イヴニングガールズ/Ivuningu ga-ruzu (evening girls) -> イヴガール/ivuga-ru

This song is a continuation of "saitou daisuke ~all good adults go to heaven?~" from takui's album beat&loose.
The dialogue is performed by the comedy group time machine sangou (yamamoto kouji & seki futoshi).
Due to the speed of the dialogue, it's too hard to figure out accurate romaji for it
(They do not exactly follow the written version) but it's close enough =p