If you want to wear a hat

If you want to wear a hat
You'd better get one that looks better than that
Or on second thought the hat upon your head
Would look good with a feather instead

Then you need to ask a bird
Which is more complicated than you have heard
For the birdie will not cooperate
Unless you guarantee the going rate

So you need to get a job
For that you must stop dressing like a slob
As the suit that you are wearing my friend
Makes me think that you are trying to offend

When a suit is what you need to wear
Get one that makes you look like a square
And if you want some visual relief
Change the color of your hankerchief

If you want to wear a hat
But didn't know it was as difficult as that
Keep in mind what your brother-man said
Let the sunshine shine upon your head

If you want to wear a hat,
You didn't know it was as difficult as that...