Armageddon (outta here)

Student 1: so it's gonna be like, you know, if you don't hand in your essays you're not even gonna get a third.
Student 2: god he's such a twat!
Student 1: i know, he thinks we're still at school.
Student 3: oh yeah, i've got this thing i wanna play you. er.. skin up, will you.
Student 1: what's this?
Student 3: it's the bluetones. it's just come out.
Student 1: no, i mean this.
Student 3: er.. i think it's moroccan. yeah? what do you want?
Student 4: yes sorry to bother you, but some of us actually have to get up in the morning. can you turn the music down please. thank you. sleep tight.
Student 1: yeah, i'm gonna need something to lean on. cheers. so then, what's the one that's got their hit on it?
Student 3: which one?
Student 1: you know, what's it called? slight return.
Student 2: that's the first album.
Student 3: oh, i don't know that one. i only know the one that goes "you don't have to have the solution, you've got to invest in the problem".
Students 1 & 2: yeah, that's slight return. yeah.
Student 3: is it?
Student 2: yeah.
Student 3: oh. i just thought it was called "you don't have to have the solution, you've got to invest in the problem".
Student 1: no.
Student 3: oh.
Student 2: how you doing with that?
Student 1: yeah, i need a lighter or something. cheers.
Student 3: "all this will fade away. 'cause i'm going home". yeah, i like that one.
Student 1: what's this?
Student 3: i think it's called blood bubble.
Student 1: no, this.
Student 3: oh sorry. that's my fake id.
Student 2: you don't need fake id, you look about thirty.
Student 3: exactly. this gets me child fare on the buses.
Student 1: oh my god, right! the other night, yeah, i was with andy and gerth. completely forgot to tell you. and we got so caned, i was just like, "oh my god!"
Student 2: oh yeah, right! last night i was with sebastian, and we got so caned i was just like, completely caned!
Student 3: did you hear about thursday?
Student 1: no.
Student 2: why what happened?
Student 3: i went over to see pierrs.
Student 1: yeah?
Student 3: yeah! and we got so caned. at first i was smoking, and then i was just like - go just completely caned! oh my god. oh my god! you've got like a bag puss video!
Student 1: oh my god!
Student 2: yeah, i know.
Student 1: oh my god, let me have a look. oh my god! this is like actual bag puss! oh my god! this has got like emily on it! and professor yaffle and the mice! oh my god! "we will fix it! we will fix it!"
Student 3: oh my god, do you remember the frumps?
Student 1: yeah! oh my god, do you remember jamie and the magic torch?
Student 3: yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! yeah, and the dog! what was the dog called? oh my god, he had a dog! i'm sure he had a dog!
Student 4: right! it is now half past three, ok? i've asked you politely to keep the noise down, now i am telling you. turn it off! i said turn if off!
Student 2: chill out, man. it will be finished in a minute.
Student 4: right!
Student 2: don't touch me, you gay!
Student 4: turn it off you bloody shit!
Student 2: touch those decks man, i swear i will kill you!
Student 4: you're a bloody shit!
Student 2: get off!
Student 4: what's this?
Student 3: it's from amsterdam, isn't it?
Student 1: no, it's moroccan.
Student 4: is this what i think it is?
Student 2: all right, put that down!
Student 1: yeah, bad form man, you don't touch a guys' drop.
Student 2: i swear i will kill you.
Student 4: oh! butter fingers! good night.
Student 2: i can't believe you just did that. i can't believe you just did that! that's my pot, man! i'm gonna kill you! you're dead!
Student 4: oh yes, so while i'm still alive i'm gonna be making an appointment to see paul o'prey, and i will be suggesting as a matter of great urgency that you be given a transfer to another halls of residence. good night.
Student 2: big deal!
Student 4: hmm, that's right. that's exactly what it is - a big deal! good night.
Student 2: i can't believe it man, that was nearly a whole eighth!
Student 1: forget it, man. come on, let's get kentucky.
Student 3: oh my god! oh my god, i've just realised! you've got mr ben as well!
Student 2: oh, shut up!