M.h.'s jokes

[MES is the one swearing a lot]
Anyway, this guy goes "Fuckin 'ell, you don' 'alf complain for an eleven year old do you?"
ooooohhhh
-That machine is nice
-Fuck off it took me ages to get that, yeah
-I want that machine
-Yeah what yeah right,
-clean joke
-Wuh
-If I tell a good clean joke, can I have that?
-No you fuckin can't
-I want it, honest
-You can't have it
-There's no VUs coming up there at all. Is it supposed to have VUs on it?
-No, it's not. 'S fuckin' my machine, that. Keep your hands off it.
-It's your machine. It's a VU-less machine. Sure it's recording, Mark? Better turn the volume up. OK, what d'you call a guy with a spade in his head? Doug.
-Jesus, that's pathetic.
-What d'you call a guy who's been dead and buried for 30,000 years? Pete. (nervous laugh) Come on, then, astound me with your wit, Mark.
[Cut]
-Come on, rewind it, let's see what you had to say.
-Erm, we've been through this before, haven't we?
-Right I'll do it for the tape like all them other bands do, like we've done it once, but the cameras weren't rolling
-Nah, I'm thinking of my joke actually.
-So I'm reading Frank Zappa, right, it's an au- it's a biography by Frank Zappa
-Right [MES totally disinterested]
-And - errrr - it's 1988, I go tup to 1988 and the book is about how many things he released, when he released it
-Hrrrrrrghhhhhm
-How many offshoots and all this shit, and all of a sudden I'm realising, errr
-More interested when you were talking about Napoleon actually