Collecting cookies

I am a lawyer, and I am a father
I talk well by the rules and do my best to care for my kids
Got so much money
I got a happy family
I got a busy schedule
So I can't talk right now, sorry

I am a student
I've got phds
I majored in drama, science, laws, music, philosophy
I'am an example
Everybody wants me
But none of it matters since I just sit collectin' cookies

I am a party boy
I like to be, in clubs twerkin' and dancin'
Bein' dumb with people like me
I don't really mind couse I've got no self-esteem
There's plenty to go around couse there's no 'I' in team

I am a runner
I am a athlete
I like to run and be the fastest
Like a bolt of lightning
Be number one
I want more medals
I want to win
If I can't get there
I can shoot adrenaline
But I
Got no one
I got no job
No talent that I'm good at
So I'm lyin'
In bed
I am cryin'
Wishin' that I'll get lucky someday

I'm cryin'
(I'm cryin')
And whinin'
(And whinin')
Wishin' that I'll get lucky someday
I'm cryin'
(I'm cryin' and whinin')

But none of it matters, really
Since I just sit collectin' cookies