To kill this

With a lack of self esteem
I walked into my teens
And six years later
I'm still frustrated
I'm still not who I want to be
And now it all comes down to
Am I treating her right?

If I could just be
All that I can be for her
That's when I'd be the man I long to be
I hate this cycle
It's a neverending
Story of infinite last chances I keep telling myself

And now it all comes down to
Am I treating you right?

Just grow up
But it's so easy to say
And so much harder to do
I hear it each and every day
Just grow up
It's the only thing left to do

It's time to kill this
There's no two ways about it
Ends today right here right now
But it's time I learn that
It's not a matter
Of saying the right words
Or singing the right songs

It's so old but it's not easy
To say goodbye to all this heartache
To just say no, just run away, endure pain
And suffocate every desire that hurts you

My words and actions don't align
My heart is the victim of my mind