A fault line, a fault of mine

I'm not scared, but this is happening
I'm not afraid, but this is real
This is real

It all comes at once
From every single direction
This time I'm not
I'm not sleeping at all

How could this be real?
I've failed you,
I've failed you

I was lying when I said I was looking north
I was too scared to show what I am
Bear with me, bear with me this is all I have left
This night be more than a simple conversation

It's been dancing around in my head
For quite some time
Just the thought of cleaning up myself

I was lying when I said I was looking north
I was too scared to show what I am
Bear with me, bear with me this is all I have left
This night be more than a simple conversation

I'm not sleeping,
I'm not sleeping at all…

I stare at the wall
Watching my time float away
It's all been a blur
And nothing will change

I was lying
I was lying

This is defeat