Scattered sense

I begin this moment again.
Found a routine from early on.
Worthless perception keeping the lawn dry.
A pimple draining out partialities.
Looking for a word to help me out.
Melancholy roads with happy dreams.
I scream as if i might expand.
Speechless rage now explained.

A faithful disorder.
Getting lost within me.
I'll filter my despair of being just me.
I won't implore the heavens
The relief i needed.

There's something i gotta say.
We've decided to go with the flow.
My lies have darkened our lives.
I've forgotten the old meaning.