Suicide vigil

Time and time again
Ive tried to erase myself one last time
One less mouth that wont cause nausea
its looking beautiful now
I cant control
From the inside out I can see myself
I can yet change
Not for what Ive done but for the failure that I reek of
This failure
Failure
That I failure that I reek of
I'm becoming more anxious with every hour I let by
I'm still trying to dissect the filth that I call myself
Yet you keep pushing me
Betrayed
Today is the your last day
Learn how to count your blessings
Scratched form truth
How I became you
To push hard
To push you I shall
I shall give into lies
I shall dissect the envy from you to be heard
I shall never believe you
Ive failed
No pity
From you