Left in the dark

Once in a while i'd like to do
Do something thats just for me
But im constantly finding a way around

Not having to show a white flag
See its not that i'm trying to brag
Its an impediment that I just can't shake

Dont get hung up about the things you
Cant keep pulling all the strings
And have control over every little aspect of

Everything you have, its not secure
And they'll leave you wanting more
If the right offer comes along then they'll take it

But I dont blame them - I blame myself
For getting so attached that I cant let go
I dont judge them - I judge myself
For being left in the dark

They, put a spanner in the works
They made a move although it hurts
And they know it and they cant help thinking

What it would be like correctly steered
If we had simply persevered
And just taken a step back from 'the ordinary'

Though altruism gets to me
Its a virtue cant you see?
That when i let it rest, on my conscience

It leads to feelings of remorse
And then those feelings go off course
And they mess up my head and I go ranting

But I dont blame them - I blame myself
For getting so attached that I cant let go
I dont judge them - I judge myself
For being left in the dark

I cant change them, cant change myself
I just get so worked up over things I cant control
I wont bother, I tell myself
Then make another, sly remark