Do not try understand

I lost my lover
I can not explain
I lost my lover
I can not escape it

I pretended to talk to myself
To feel more important to me
Awake every night
To see if someone at the door

I lost my spirit
I can not explain
I lost my spirit
I can not recover this

I pretended not to want to talk
To feel more important to me
Awake in the middle of the night
To write these words