Opia

I don't really believe in love
I don't even know what that is
And they say it all starts when we feel our mothers breathing
Their chests move against our delicate bones and massage our way into life
But I never chose my mother I never knew who she was
I was rather forced into this world by hers and my father's choice to have a child
I don't know what love is
And then I got attached to this family, to this house, to these entities
And I felt like I can't live without them
They had their own lives, their own rhythm, ambitions, fears and secrets
I was introduced to everything they are by what they chose to tell me
I built an image of them and worshiped it
I lived their moments and interacted with their choices
I had what they chose to give me
I knew what they chose to tell me
I don’t know what love is

You might be wandering
Why I wrote this song?
It's not a lullaby for the broken
It's a breathless gasp
From the depth of the weakest lung
My nightmares, unspoken

Oceans apart
Don't you know from the start
That I lied to you?
But this bleeding heart
Is not what you should fight

I took a vow to leave
A verse upon your skin
Sealed with tears of hope and fear
The needle broke
The ink was lost within
Layers unclear

Oceans apart
Don't you know from the start
I never lied to you
But this bleeding heart
Will never see the light