Lucid rapture

As the day grew on I became more enraptured in my careless thoughts.
Each thought drawing me deeper and deeper into my mind.
The mind of a deranged man.
A man who has made a series of unfortunate decisions.
Decisions decided without thought.
Staring into the reflection of an unfamiliar face.
What have I become?
It seems to me as if I had become lost.
Excuse me for my selfishness and lack of self control.
Intoxicating myself with each and every possible excuse.
Wallowing in self pity.
It's become apparent to me that I'm just another disappointment.
I suppose if it's true that you reap what you sow then I will soon get what I have coming.
It's only a matter of time before it's all said and done.
As the day grew on I became more enraptured in my careless thoughts.
Each thought drawing me deeper and deeper into my mind.
The mind of a deranged man.
My well of chances has ran bone dry.
Who am I to decide what I do and do not deserve.
What have I become?
Deranged.