The machine gun song

If I could be anything
I'd be a machine gun
'Cuz everytime I see you
I'm sorry I don't own one
If I could be anything
You know I'd be a land mine
The next time you step on me
Will really be the last time
If I could be anything
I'd be an airborne ranger
I'd jump into your ship
When you treat me like a stranger
If I could be anything
I'd be a German U-boat
Sink you like a stone
'Cuz the new guy
Makes your soul float
Hold my hand
Like a knife in my back
My nose is bleeding
And my eyes are both black
Got lots of friends
I don't need anymore
I'm Steve McQueen
And you're Gestapo torture
If I could be anything
I'd be a machine gun
'Cuz everytime I see you
I'm sorry I don't own one
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! I feel better now