Traces of pain

When my so called life comes to an end
I am condemned to burn (in hell)
Heaven denied my soul will fry
God will laugh and i´ll (cry)
Traces of pain in my mind
I am leaving behind
When st: peter looks upon my file
He´ll sentence me to eternal (fire)
Heaven denied my soul will fry
God will laugh and i´ll (cry)

Why is it so hard to forget all the pain and regret
When i hardly recall times of laughter and joy
Hatred confuses my mind leaving laove far behind
But if i start loving pain, can i trick my own brain?
I am reaching out of madness wonderes into unknown
But is it called sanity when your heart turns to stone?
I can´t feel anymore, my world is slowly getting cold
A desire to kill crawls up my spine, i can´t hold back i feel alive

Leaving behind, the pain deep inside
Start to deny, the tears in my eyes
As i have to kill to survive

Why is love so hard to express when you´re afraid of lonliness?
When it is easy to hate if it all is to late
This paradox confuses my head i´ll be better of dead
But if i wear somebody else i might break out from this shell
I am reaching out of madness, but i am living a dream
And no matter how i twist and turn this can´t be called sanity

Is this the way it was ment to be?
Is this the path of my destiny?
Can i turn back or is it all to late?
What can i do, to change my fate?