When life feed you lemons, choke on them and die

somehow i have given up. on this in my life.
all i seem to find here. is wasted time. of the all the hopes i have killed. one won't die easy. life is still standing still. but i won't die easy. i try to tell myself i'm leaving. when i'm the one who's left behind. can we make this happen faster? because i think i'm out of time. and i'm not lost just unfound. in this place i stay. with nothing to show for now. or any time. and i had hoped that someone. would pull me through. the saddest part was i had thought it was you. i can hear a smile in your voice. and i can see a smile in your eyes. i'll give up just like i know i should. you'll let me down just like i knew you would