Serenade my life

Focusing the opening emotions that I hold within
Surrounded by my inner demons thinkin' I should roll with them
I don't wanna go to hell, I don't wanna go to jail
But I wanna kill a man, maybe I should kill myself
I been sittin' contemplatin', suicidal situations
Now I'm placed in a position, to abide the whole nation
And I'm spottin' niggas hatin', I'm just watchin' bein' patient
Prayin' for my own existence, some say I'm a mental patient
Drugs are taking over me, sorrow is patrolling me
Follow my blind heart, tomorrow run the cold streets
I been crying for a week, Will is weak, can I speak
Without somebody judging me, pushing me and shoving me
Mamma if you love me you won't really let me go
But I live for a cause that I don't really know
Am I wrong if I cry, but I can't 'cause it's time
For the truth in my life, I will be crucified

CHORUS 2x
I'm sittin' back patient, patient
I'm ready and waitin', waitin'
for my homicide, serenade my life
And I can't escape it, escape it
I'm ready and waitin', waitin'
for my homicide, serenade my life

Conversatin' with my brothers spirit, I hear him saying
Strangers in the dark lurkin' you just gotta feel them waiting
I ain't eatin', I ain't sleepin', closets open and I ain't breathin'
Death is running over me, my conscience keep on showin' me
Ever since my early teens, knew this was my destiny
World gotta feel my pain, I'm no longer questioning
When, where or how I will, happen 'fore when I get killed?
Never take my voice away, through records sales is how I live
View me as the realist nigga, poppin' pills drinkin' liquor
Sucker to depression makes me turn to my aggression, quicker
Got a lotta homies dead, buried all in my head
Cry inside every time I ever stop to read my hands
How could I fear a man? I've never been near a man
All of y'all fraudulent, y'all don't like it, kill me then
How could I fear a man? I've never been near a man
All of y'all fraudulent, y'all don't like it, kill me then

Chorus

Sunk into a sphere of svelte, misery being dealt
My only fear is lyrically, mean not being felt
I'm much harder, much smarter, more true, fuck you!
No matter what the conversation, this is what it comes to
Imagine staring at your friends, feelin' that they don't love you
Ya ride till the end but they feel, they above you
I gotta chosen few, name my homies in the song
If fire arms murkin' me when I'm gone
I tried to be a better man, baby if you understand
My love for you is true but I ain't really love myself
See nobody wanna help, better off to end this way
Talkin' to my only friends, weed leaves, Hennessey
Came from a broken home, smoke till the dope is gone
Listen to the words homie, this ain't really just a song
Came from a broken home, smoke till the dope is gone
Listen to the words homie, this ain't really just a song

Chorus

Serenade my life
Shady Records on Cashis
This is real shit
Serenade my life
I ain't scared, I ain't runnin', I'm waitin'
???? nigga
Ha!
Live as a man, die as a man