What's the time!?

What is the time? Oh, God, I'm late again
I'm gonna get bollocked if I can't think up something for when
I get to work, and I can't clock in
Scraping the bottom of the barrel, excuses wearing thin

No I'm not a master of evasion
But here's time in life where one must at least try
He's walking down to produce aisle
He fucking knows it, he's gonna lose it

It must feel like the end of the world
To you it probably is, sir
What can I do to make this up to you
These things are sent to test us

If being on time was a competition I'd get lost en-route
(I'd get lost en-route)
Ironically this happened too
An elephant escaped from the zoo
Don't believe me? I tell you, it's true!

I made my lunch but forgot to pack any fruit
(Fruit, fruit, fruit)
And if my mum found out she'd probably hit the roof
(Roof, roof, roof)

I got abducted and probed
And only just got home
These kinds of things could happen to anyone
I just hope you know

It was almost the end of my world
When they took me out of my home
I was getting dressed to go to work
When they came and got me

It takes more character
To even show up at all
Sally would have just-a-called in sick
She didn't get abducted

Look into my eyes, don't tell me that I lied
It's just a coincidence that my goldfish died
I was gonna come in, God knows I tried
I just lost track of time

It must feel like the end of the world
To you it probably is, sir
What can I do to make this up to you
These things are sent to test us

It takes more character
To even show up at all
Sally would have just-a-called in sick
She didn't

It was almost the end of my world
When they took me out of my home
I was getting dressed to go to work
When they came and got me

I promise this will never happen
Ever again
I will never call in sick
I'll try not to get abducted

What is the time? Oh, God, I'm late again
Google Acceptable Excuses