Ging the details of an undertaking

I'm seeing it past this way.
Intend to watch as I break...until it happens again.
Steal in and hide away.
Set destination straight from the familiar.
Cleared out.
It happens several times a year now.
Once better, now accepted as retreat/release.
One side of the real me.
Turn my senses down and flip them backwards.
No goodbyes, no missing family.
If you were me and I was you, exactly how deep would I see through?
Always second guessing that you would behave the way...
I wanted to somewhat dedicate this one out to future life mistakes.
I can't predict the death of me.
The face/the state which will hold my heart.
Oh my mind, all the bullshit you put me through.
I'll follow through once you're left behind.
That's all in good time.
But it's a farce, passed on down the line.
That's all in good time.