Everybody were stoned

I took my baby
to the hospital 'cause
she ate up so many balls
she had forgotten who I was
The nurse told me "baby
don't you worry 'bout her
Then shoved a spike
into her own arm
and fell down limp on the floor

I called my buddy and said
"Oh man I need some help"
But he was so drunk
he couldn't stop laughing, oh hell
I got in the cab and said
"Let's get away from here"
But the driver couldn't drive
'cause he was all
soaked up in beer

Everybody were
Everybody were stoned

I got to my granny's house and
I rang her bell and she took me in
And I asked her for some water
but she said" No way, dear -
You need some heroin"
I got in the church and said
"Oh Lord take me back!"
but all the congregation
was smoking crack

Everybody were
Everybody were stoned
Stoned
Stoned
Stoned