This time again

so here we go again
got more experience
no more excuses now
and no more bitterness

we said we’d be just friends
the cycle never ends
we terminated this
with due dilligence

I should feel better now
but still I don’t somehow
the knife is twisting still
the cuts that make me ill

my head’s a fucking mess
but this damn this loneliness
it makes me feel just like
when the world still held some interest

I am a nexus
I live to fall
I am gaping hole of violence
that lives inside us all

I am the DJ
and I am the drink
I am the thing that pushes
you over the brink

remember when you said
we were so innocent
remember when you hurt
and weren’t so violent

and we shared everything
and life was beautiful
and I was happy then
until you fucked it all

I know I asked this
I know I don’t deserve
a moment’s happiness
to love without reserve

and I have learnt the lesson
and I am better now
I will behave, I will abstain
so you can breathe somehow

as if I will, yeah fuck
go try for better luck
I am the demon
will not stop until we all fall down

You kept them all away
but now they’re here again
a million knives of insecurity
are my best friends