You're not there

Pour words over me
and all around, the ripples
rock the boat
I favour entropy
a slow decline, before I
have to go
Don't take it out on me
it's just revenge, and you're
the instrument
Your actions guarantee
an end to this, but
will you ever know?

And I walk home
as the sun goes down
and listen for your voice
But you're not there to call me
I forget sometimes

In the aftermath
I fall through stages, fitting
more of grief
Unrehearsed, they seem
to stutter past, a shuffled
deck unsheathed
Acceptance bows to discontent,
a sense of mourning
troubles me
Quick anger rears it's head
and settles down, replaced by
disbelief

And I walk home
as the sun goes down
and listen for your voice
But you're not there to call me