Such great depths

All along guardian you don't exist lack of faith is in again.
Fall alone is setting in.
She stayed cold and left me dead
Now it's driven in me head
That everything must end,
That every book must close.
But nobody forgets all forced sensations,
you know just won't last.
A flow relations, all seem to grow crass
uninspired and far away from who I need to be.
All so disappointing.
Hear with nothing
I will leave, the same.
This path I'm on disrupts all function.
No discern no hope for calm.
Inner dysfunction.
I've never felt so alone,
never felt so disconnected from someone yet
helping in their the all
struggling to feel the things
that just cannot be forced.
Desperation takes its toll.
Surrenders to them all.
Start again so far from here,
knowing the truth, that all along
you were just holding me down,
pulling me down, keeping me down