Symptom of disease

What you kept saying
and what I was told
never related,
so I don't know,
maybe tomorrow
or Wednesday,
but I'll find excuses
to wait, wait, wait.
The only date that's certain,
the wedding of our friends,
I think it's for the better,
I keep my cool till then.
One out of many
not how it feels,
but how I'll think of you
at the end of the year.
I don't know what's happening to me.
Is it a symptom of disease?
Wish I could tell you
about the distance between
how my life is unfolding and
how I thought it would be.
Wish you were someone
with whom I could share what I find
in the people and places
in this new world of mine